i'm not a person of grandiose words so let me put my thoughts in very simple language.



i am not in the mood to go back to campus yet.

it's pretty saddening that my sister is finally setting off to university. this means that we're all grown up, finally leading our own lives and no longer the kids who would scream in each other's faces, or hate each other to death, or who would sit and play around and pretend as if we don't have to grow up. and what's more saddening is that this face has yet kicked in into my head. i still can't accept the fact. at this rate, i honestly feel i never want to grow any older.

i need to hold my head up high, proud of who i am regardless of people liking it or not, i don't need to be someone else to impress anyone.

i solemnly swear i will study harder. seriously. i am scared. like, scared shitless because graduation is not that far off.

i will smile more, laugh more, spend more time with my friends; new and old.

i have dreams and i will do anything to achieve them.

i will save my money. oh yes, i will.

i am fervently hoping that i will get to see dong bang shin ki on stage as five again.

i will have no more doubts.

and i am, ahem, still in love with furukawa yuuta. haha XD

i need to sleep.

-because my inability to do so has landed me in several situations which i regard as unpreferable. i say yes when i ought to say no. i say yes when my heart tells me not to. my mind and heart work in different ways i tell you but i am still normal though :) there's still one me. i must learn to say N-O regardless to whom i am talking to or what situation i am in even if the consequences might be a little sour to my liking. because i say yes to everything, i landed myself in places i don't want to be, in positions i don't want to have.

i wonder, what makes it sooo hard to say no? maybe because i don't want to hurt others. maybe because i don't think before i speak. and maybe because i don't want to lose out either. but i believe it's about time to take all of these and put them behind me. i have to learn to say no because some things that i say yes to are sometimes not within my own ability, not in my own willingness and not to my own liking too. i don't want this inability of mine to one day bring me down, emotionally, physically and also academically. things are looking a little gloomy my way right now because of this and i, for one, would not want this to last. i must change change change and most importantly, i must think before i speak. i must think of the consequences, of how it will affect me. and plus, i'm heading to adulthood. this is one lesson i have to learn before i get there. must must. mannnn, saying words out loud has never been this hard, isn't it? :)




okayyy. now is my daily spazz.

I AM OFFICIALLY ADDICTED TO PRINCE OF TENNIS; ITS MANGA, ANIME, MUSICAL AND WHATNOT. i spend my days watching the musicals and anime over and over again, and man, it gets me to a point where i even remember what those people are saying even though i don't understand a word XD if you ask me why i love tenipuri soo much, i have no answer to that. the emotion is indescribable. seriously, i tell you. and psst, maybe some guys in the musical are pretty hot too. haha :D

and i am officially in love with furukawa yuuta. that man mesmerizes me! he has so much talent, his self-written songs are superb and his acting is soo convincing XD he's pretty good looking too; beautiful smile, has attitude (in a good way) and ehem, still young. keke. and what i like more is that not a lot of ppl know of his existence so i can have him all to myself. muahahaha XD he is the reason to the sudden ability of mine to watch a whole japanese movie without subs. keke. damn, that man is made up of total LOVE.

oh bb you put me under your spell XD
 

oh anyway, penang trip was amazing. would love to go there again with my girlfriends :) come on girlies, tak dpt korea/japan, penang pun jadilaa. hahhaa!